If you see my mind run by, please try and stop it. I think Adrianna’s brain wandered off, too.
This morning following a promotional piece about Highland
Brewing hosting Banjopalooza this weekend (yeah, I’d have to be drunk too), there
was a tragic story on the news about a police involved shooting here in my
quiet hamlet (you’ll get the pun later) of Waynesville, North Carolina. Apparently police were called to a scene of shots fired. They discovered a lone gunman hiding in a
church; gunfire was exchanged. The news
reported that there was no word on the condition of the gunman who was shot by
the police. This was being said while in
the background a video showed the coroner carrying a body bag out of the
church. I guess they didn’t want to jump
to conclusions, I mean maybe the gunman was shy and hid in the body bag to
avoid having his face on TV.
This, of course, spawned a conversation between Adrianna and
I about reusable body bags and whose unfortunate job it is to wash them out, which obviously
led to a discussion on the growing popularity of rental caskets, the age-old conundrum
of cremation versus burial, and finally to the Danish practice of temporary
interment. Apparently in Denmark, unless
you pay an annual fee, you only get to use your grave for ten years, after that they
dig up what’s left and evict you. (That gives a whole new meaning to, “Your
time is up.”) Come to think of it,
that is probably why Hamlet delivered his soliloquy while holding Yorick’s
skull. The poor court jester had to give
up his grave to the next corpse.
Adrianna was at a loss to explain to me what the Danes do
with the disinterred remains. We joked
about grieving families finding an unexpected package at their front door or the
possibility of a truly gruesome corner of the local dump, but we decided that
the remains were probably cremated. Which,
of course, is ironic, since the family had incurred the expense of a
traditional burial only to have their loved one cremated later.
This led two writers’ minds to ponder what happens if those
underpaid grave-digger-uppers unearth a zombie or vampire. But then we remembered the Midsummer Danish
Holiday, Sankt Hans Aften (or Saint
John’s Eve) where those wily Danes build bonfires and roast witches on stakes
(I’d rather roast steaks and s’mores).
Perhaps this celebration, often blamed on those scapegoats of Western
Civilization, the Pagans, is really a masquerade to dispose of the annual cache
of the undead Danish.
Anyway, I realize it is spurious speculation, but I think
the gunman is dead. I doubt that Brevard
resident, Steve Martin, is going to make an appearance at Banjopalooza. And I would rather be cremated than dumped in
a hole.
Did you ever wonder what editors do with their time?
Did you ever wonder what editors do with their time?