Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Not me, I got a flu shot.

   It’s been a fun couple of weeks up here in the mountains.  I took some time last week to run into town for some Marsala wine and went to Ingle’s (our better grocery store).  First off, I did NOT slip and fall and hire a lawyer; I don’t live in Ft. Lauderdale where apparently that is a legally mandated requirement of grocery shopping.  I did; however, notice that every cashier and bagger in the store was coughing, sneezing, blowing their nose or moaning about aches and pains.  Isn’t flu season fun?!?
   I’m no fool; early on I saw the good Doctor Weaver and got my dose of chicken egg and dead influenza virus.  I brazenly stood there in the fog of aerated germs knowing that I had grown the necessary antibodies to fend off even the most aggressive pathogens.  I exchanged courteous greetings with the sickly store personnel and accepted my germ-filled receipt and bagged goods without fear.  Little did I know that while my emboldened immune system was in epic battle with the legions of infectious spores, two or three highly trained “black ops” soldiers would circle around the flanks and attack my unguarded fertile mucus glands.
   Unlike my raven-haired Philly friend (actually, she from South Jersey, but she has a big-girl apartment in the city now), I wasn’t completely incapacitated by the flu.  I did get sick with a fever, aches and pains, and general malaise, but I tried desperately to stay in the running while I summoned some of my frontline forces back to fight the rogue saboteurs.  
   When the viral sorties finally subsided, I found my work queue overly saturated with time sensitive work.  I was confident that with a predicted winter storm heading into the mountains, that my days would be undisturbed by recreative trips to the gym or (God forbid) Walmart, and I would soon deplete my onerous backlog.  But what I had not counted on was the snowstorm causing numerous power fluctuations that were apparently so uncomfortable that my cellular modem/router could not sustain itself and committed equipicide. 
   I have spent the last five days fighting with Verizon (who refuses to believe that any mere mortal non-phone-guy could possible know what the hell he is talking about) and relying on email communications, uploading and downloading, and web searches on my phone.  Oh yeah, yesterday, four days into my worst technological nightmare, Verizon finally told me that my data plan included their “mobile hotspot” service on my phone.  Thanks for the timely news!
   So in case you have wondered why this post and a few other normally timely tasks of mine are just a mite tardy, you can blame that demonic entity that once exorcised from my body, decided to infect and possess my computer equipment.
   Speaking of demons, has anyone noticed that Mercedes Benz is using Sympathy for the Devil as a theme song and incorporating hellish fire in their logo?  What’s up with that?

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