I made a futile attempt to reason with him, which only resulted in him getting loud and barking at me, “I’m serious! Get up; I need to go now!”
I dragged myself from the soft comfort of my bed, donning my LL Bean slippers and rubbing the much needed sleep from my eyes.
Sebastian was already off the bed and sprinting back and forth from the bedroom door to my feet in a futile attempt to make me hurry. I lifted his sister down to take her with us since his argumentative
retort to my innocent questioning had roused poor Betsy from her peaceful
slumbers. Betsy is a cute kid, but the
dumbest quadruped child I have ever known; she has never learned any language
Illuminating the kitchen, staircase, basement, garage and finally the side yard with painful light, too bright for my over-dilated irises, the three of us made our way outside. Vacuous Betsy, driven only by mute instincts, immediately found an appropriate spot for her business and patiently waited while Sebastian surveyed the area for the possibility of nocturnal chipmunks.
“Nope, none by the birdfeeders; better check the garden.”
He thoroughly checked behind my Earthboxes, along the as yet to be transplanted Knock Out rose bushes, along the embankment above the drive; he peered into the dense coppice on the steep grade over the house and finally, with a crouched stealth technique that is more feline than canine, sprang to the retaining wall hoping to catch some unsuspecting rodent frolicking in the woods below the house.
To his surprise, none of the elusive prey that he desperately wants to capture and play with were awake at that early morning hour. But to be sure, he backtracked to the garage and rechecked every spot previously known to harbor those quick and evasive toys. Frustrated, he sat down in the middle of the driveway with the intent of a doggy-style, overnight stakeout. Knowing what he had forgotten, the real purpose of this pre-dawn sortie, I dragged my insolent leashed brat around to all the places he normally uses to relieve himself. He showed no interest in anything other than a vigilant chipmunk watch.
I eventually gave up and took both kids in, darkening the passageways behind us as we climbed the stairs back to the bedroom. I did scold him for waking me for no reason, but he doesn’t understand how chipmunk hunting could be considered no reason.
Back in the warmth of my bed, I slowly slipped over the edge of the precipice, returning to the mental quiet of sleep.
“Dad? Dad, wake up, I forgot to go potty.”
It is needless to say that as I roused myself for the third time this morning, this time with coffee, news and urgent business emails, my normal office companion is still sound asleep downstairs in the bedroom.
You have got to love him.